Nikki Glaser Slams CBS and Leo, Shows Kindness to Julia at Golden Globes

LOS ANGELES — Nikki Glaser delivered a powerful and thought-provoking monologue to open Sunday's Golden Globes, balancing sharp humor with subtle commentary on the entertainment industry.

In her opening jokes, she playfully suggested that some of the A-listers in attendance might be connected to the Epstein Files. She also took a few jabs at CBS, the network airing the show, highlighting its recent controversies. "There are so many A-listers, and by A-listers, I do mean people who are on a list that has been heavily redacted," she said. "And the Golden Globe for best editing goes to the Justice Department."

She then shifted focus to CBS News, mocking its decision to kill a critical "60 Minutes" story about the Trump Administration sending immigrants to a prison in El Salvador. "The award for most editing goes to CBS News," she said. "Yes, CBS News: America’s newest place to see BS news."

Glaser did not address Venezuela, a topic she had considered mentioning earlier this week, but she felt it would be too old news in the current climate. There was also no mention of ICE, which could have been another potential target for her humor.

When speaking with The Associated Press, Glaser mentioned she struggled to find a joke about Julia Roberts, noting that she is so beloved and respected that nothing she tried landed with her comedy club test audiences. However, she found a way to approach the subject from a different angle. "Just like the podcasters nominated tonight, I should not be allowed to be this close to Julia Roberts," she said, and received a big laugh as a result.

This was Glaser's second time hosting the show. She was quickly rehired after receiving strong reviews during her first appearance last year. Her initial hiring came after a ruthless roast she gave the attendees of the Netflix roast of Tom Brady. While she was kinder on the Globes, her jokes still had some bite.

One of her jokes targeted Leonardo DiCaprio, making an obligatory comment about his dating history. "You’ve worked with every great director. You’ve won three Golden Globes and an Oscar," she said. "And the most impressive thing is that you were able to accomplish all of that before your girlfriend turned 30."

She then went meta, apologizing for being so obvious. "Leo, I’m sorry I made that joke, it’s cheap. You know what, I tried not to, but like, we don’t know anything else about you, man. Like, there’s nothing else, like open up!" she said, getting a bigger laugh than she did for the first joke, especially from DiCaprio himself.

Glaser also focused on Timothée Chalamet, making an inevitable joke about the nominee — and later winner — for "Marty Supreme." She called him "the first actor in history to have to put on muscle for a movie about ping pong. This is true. He gained over 60 ounces."

During the show, Glaser took a break from the stage to give a presentation on the ballroom’s layout. "To my right are the tables for 'Hamnet,' 'All Her Fault' and 'Bugonia,'” she said, “an area we’re calling 'traumatized woman alley.' We’ll never find out where 'traumatized men alley' is because they’re not allowed to tell us."

Like last year when she merged "Wicked" and "Conclave" into the aborted gag song "Popeular," she started at one point to sing a deliberately hacky song. This time she pretended to accidentally say "K-Pong Demon Hunters" before shedding her dress to show athletic wear underneath, grabbing a ping pong paddle-shaped microphone and merging "Marty Supreme" with "KPop Demon Hunters" to the tune of the latter’s best original song winner "Golden."

"Marty" co-star Fran Drescher soon stepped out to cut Glaser off, saying in her famous nasal rasp, "You have to stop singing, your voice is so annoying."

But Glaser was also on the receiving end of one joke, from Judd Apatow, who told a story before presenting best director. "Nikki Glaser used to be our babysitter," he said. "That’s true. She was our babysitter. And she’s like, 'I do standup comedy.' And then I went online to watch her set and it was all about smoking reefer and having weird sex and then she stopped being our babysitter."